I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
