My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
