i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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