Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
