Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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