How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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