glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
