You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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