reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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