at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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