O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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