**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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