I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
