how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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