Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
one might say we're banned from that church
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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