that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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