need another drink. this is the easiest way
We're facebook friends in real life
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize