Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
