I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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