evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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