don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
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well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We need to get me chipped asap
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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