We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
3 2 1 whiskey
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
