ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
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