I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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