Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its about making memories worth repressing
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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