are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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