Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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