Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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