You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
