I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
