I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
