is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
