i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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