Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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