My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
