i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
