She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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