oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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