Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
