why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
