can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
