me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
