The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
