There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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