I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The feeling are messing with the penis
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
