I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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