You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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