At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
