I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
