my mouth tastes like poor choices
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
