talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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