just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
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So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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