You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
