sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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