So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
