ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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