i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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