This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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