Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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