my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
