U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
