Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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