It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Is Oprah even human
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
