Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
