We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How does one acquire holy water?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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