another moral hangover. fuck.
just tell him i said nine months
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
